Joined: 25/2/2013 Platinum Member
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Three old ladies - Gertrude, Maude and Tilly, were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a handsome young man dressed only in a trench coat approached them from across the park.
The young man came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.
Gertrude immediately had a stroke.
Seeing her friend's reaction, Maude also had a stroke.
But Tilly, bless her heart, being older and more feeble than her friends, couldn't quite reach that far...
BURIAL PLANS
A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbours feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening, he died when he was 98. After the burial, her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife said, " Let him dig. I had him buried upside down...
and I know he won't ask for directions."
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