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 Topic: THE WIFE.
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01/10/2023 at 9:26pm
Location: West Yorks
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Last night the wife bent over me to kiss me goodnight.
I told her that that kiss took me back over 50 years.
She was not amused when I told he that when she bent over, all the wrinkles on her face had disappeared.
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Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
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01/10/2023 at 9:28pm
Location: West Yorks
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TA couple of weeks ago she gave me $29 and told me to get some of those pills that would improve our sex life.
I should NOT have bought her some slimming tablets....
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Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
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02/10/2023 at 8:14am
Location: None Entered
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I bought my wife a Ford KA for her birthday , she said “ thats no good to me, I want something that goes from nought to sixty in under two seconds! “ So I went and swapped it for a set of bathroom scales.
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29/10/2023 at 10:58am
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My wife started the 5 to 2 diet.She gave up by ten past
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30/10/2023 at 9:05pm
Location: West Yorks
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The wife wanted something fast enough to go 0 - 100 in a few seconds.
I bought her a set of scales.
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Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
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30/10/2023 at 9:09pm
Location: West Yorks
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My wife was complaining about how I don’t buy her flowers.
I honestly didn’t know she had any for sale.
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Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
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10/11/2023 at 8:48pm
Location: West Yorks
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I went in to my chemists and asked for some Viagra.
"Do you have a prescription? " asked the pharmacist.
"No" I said " but I have a photograph of the wife "
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Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
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10/11/2023 at 9:09pm
Location: West Yorks
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I just got a voucher offering 60% off cosmetics at Boots.
My wife will be made up.
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Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
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10/11/2023 at 9:14pm
Location: West Yorks
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Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
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17/2/2024 at 8:43pm
Location: West Yorks
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What's the difference between love and marriage?
Love is blind, while marriage is an eye-opener!
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Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
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06/3/2024 at 11:56am
Location: West Yorks
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Last night I told my wife to get her coat on.
"Why, are we going somewhere?"
"Nope,I’m off up the pub for darts night and I’m turning the heating off."
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Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
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07/3/2024 at 12:27pm
Location: SHEFFIELD
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We've all seen those films where as the foreigner offers xyz for the wife. 6 camels, 20 goats, 10 sheep, 4 pigs etc.etc
I would accept one wild Hyena right now for mine!
She just gave me a list of jobs that want doing around the house!!!!!
Four A4 pages. Going to cost an arm and a leg to pay all them trades people in.
😱😱😱😱
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08/3/2024 at 8:54am
Location: Perth
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Got a phone call from the hospital saying my wife had just been rushed in.
"how is she?" I asked
"I'm afraid she's critical" they replied
"Don't worry.........you'll get used to it" I told them.
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"quando omni flunkus moritatus"
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via mobile 02/11/2023 at 8:51pm
