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Subject Topic: Sad and difficult times
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10/8/2015 at 6:47pm
 Location: East Sussex
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I've been thinking of you and your family today, Julia. I hope it went well, and you all found some comfort in the proceedings.


10/8/2015 at 9:00pm
 Location: Sheffield or my happy place
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Hi Julia I am on holiday at the moment so I haven't read the posts for a few days. You and your family have been in my thoughts today xx


11/8/2015 at 11:51am
 Location: Derbyshire
 Outfit: ElddisAvante462 Honda CRV SE2.2 i-Dtec
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What amazing people you all are, without the care and support shown to myself and my family on here over the last few months lm sure that we would be in a deeper darker place than we are now.
The Funeral went very well yesterday, it was a very moving service emotionaly, with several suprises, some of which got my husband Bill, who has always been a member of the 'Men dont cry' club, sobbing on Savannah's shoulder as the bearers, all family members, bought Kay into church, to the Tune of Roberta Flack's ' The first time I ever saw your face' which was Kay and Tony's special Love song from when they first met.
The rest of the service lasted about an hour, with several readings, including a piece written by Kay herself, and read by the priest, which was very revealing of her feelings throughout her life, and how she was bullied at School, the way she met Tony, and her determination to help spread happiness into the lives of others. Savannah read her poem, but wobbled with emotion on the last line, as Tony quietly sobbed throughout the service.

I am pleased to say that everyone behaved themselves, the two Ex'es of my Ex, kept away from eachother, and the buffet welcome Speach by Kays Dad went very well indeed and helped lift everyones spirits. The weather kept dry throughout the funeral, but the heavens opened with torrential rain as we left the cemetry for the Wake, and some people without coats turned up looking like contestants for a Wet T-Shirt contest, something that would have amused Kay greatly. There was no seats left in the Wake venue and it had a capacity to seat 70 guests in the main hall, plus outside seating in the conservatory and on the balcony overlooking the bowling green, both which were full with people chatting and enjoying a drink or two with a bite to eat from the buffet. Savannah and Gina later returned to the graveside to photograph the sea of flowers, so that we could show my Dad, they really were beautiful, and the 3D Angel done in white flowers with fluffy wings and holding red roses was amazing.

Today we are back to the officaldome of more phone calls and solicitors appointments, banks to visit with I.D, and sorting my Dad out who is still not well at all, we are still hoping to get a break away with our caravan before the end of the season, but we will just have to see how things go.

Bye for now, with Greatful thanks for all your Kindness,

Julia

Post last edited on 11/08/2015 12:25:04

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Just love to be out amoungst Nature and Wildlife

Celebrating 37 years of Caravanning in 2019, Recently Considered Retiring, but Totally Addicted for Life!


11/8/2015 at 1:56pm
 Location: Slaving away
 Outfit: Dandy (Magic mushroom) BMW 3 series
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You must keep coming and let us know how you are all doing. You will still be in limbo until everything with solicitors etc is sorted and that will seem to take forever and there will always be something you forget to sort.

Once that is done you can start getting back to some sort of routine again like your daughter would have wanted you to. She will always be a big part of your life and you will have happy memories to carry you through.

Hugs to you all.

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No, really?!


11/8/2015 at 4:23pm
 Location: Bolton Lancs
 Outfit: Tent & Toyota Granvia
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I'm so glad things went well on what must have been a very difficult and emotional day. Do please keep posting and let us know how you're all doing - our thoughts and prayers don't just stop now Kay's funeral is over xx

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Tigermouse


I have a very temperamental personality - 50% temper and 50% mental


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11/8/2015 at 8:27pm
 Location: None Entered
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Ditto tigermouse

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I am who I am


11/8/2015 at 11:39pm
 Location: Isle of Mull
 Outfit: 2 x Outwells Kairos 400 Caranex
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Julia, so glad everything went so well and Kay got the celebration of her life she deserved. You are a very brave lady - it must take great courage to post on here the following day.

As you say, officialdom now takes over and the long grind, often very impersonal!, takes over. Take your holiday if you can - it'll give you a much needed break to re-charge your batteries.

God Bless XX

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" When I die I don`t want my life to flash before me in an instant, I want it to be a 3 hour epic !"


12/8/2015 at 7:59am
 Location: Cambs
 Outfit: Ford Duetto Autosleeper
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Julia so glad all went well for Kay's funeral, it sounded like a lovely service.

I hope you manage to get away after all the legal stuff.

Take care xxxx

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Duffs54      



12/8/2015 at 8:50am
 Location: Derbyshire
 Outfit: ElddisAvante462 Honda CRV SE2.2 i-Dtec
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Thankyou Everyone for your Kind wishes, Gina and l are off to the solicitors today to swear our Oaths as Executors of Kay's will, a job that for us, will have long term duties as trustees for the rest of Tony's life, or should l die before him, the duty passes onto Gina, as basically, we become landlords of Kay's house, and gaurdians of her wishes regarding it in its use over the long term, which are quite specific, and could be quite difficult to police.

When we have finished at the solicitors, we are off to Ashbourne to see my Dad, hes still not well, and the local GP is visiting him most days, the pain in his arthritic hip is getting him down, and since Kay passed away, his heart problems have been worse with frequent problems with irregular heart beats and palpitations, which have made him feel nauseaus, and take himself off to bed. The place he lives in is lovely, surrounded by open countryside, and was ideal for him to retire to over 20yrs ago, but the land is now becoming a burden for him to upkeep, and with Bill and l no longer spring chickens ourselves, and only having daughters, we are not exactly budding farmers to take over these duties, although Bill does drive the tractor when needed, and Dad employs a gardener for a few hours a week to keep the domestic area tidy. Im just hoping that we dont go straight from nursing one family member to another, especially as step mum is not the easiest person in the world to reason with, parly due to a degree of dementia, and partly through sheer stubborness. Even getting the weekly shopping list from her is a hard fought battle, and shes not safe to take herself out in the car and into town to do any shopping for her self. Today Bill has got the task of distracting her whilst l get Dad to sign a bank form which allows me to withdraw cash on his behalf, at his request, if she found out about that one, she would try and ban me from visiting, even though its in both their best intrests, if she tried to do it herself, shes lightly to loose her bag somewhere and come home minus the cash, we just cannot win!

Julia

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Just love to be out amoungst Nature and Wildlife

Celebrating 37 years of Caravanning in 2019, Recently Considered Retiring, but Totally Addicted for Life!


12/8/2015 at 4:12pm
 Location: Preston
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Just when you could do to take time to reflect on everything you have gone through the hassle of administrating the will etc kicks in.
You are right about becoming a guardian of the estate it can be quite onerous, Just make sure you keep all receipts and keep a written note of why and what you have done in event of an audit. Make sure you keep a note of even the little things that don't seem significant.


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12/8/2015 at 6:30pm
 Location: East Sussex
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I suppose stepmother wouldn't let you order their shopping online, would she?

My friend used to do that for her elderly parents, and it worked really well. With her visits, the cleaner and the Sainsbury's delivery, she knew someone was looking in on them every day!


12/8/2015 at 7:48pm
 Location: Lancs.
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Quote: Originally posted by fran1000 on 12/8/2015
I suppose stepmother wouldn't let you order their shopping online, would she?

My friend used to do that for her elderly parents, and it worked really well. With her visits, the cleaner and the Sainsbury's delivery, she knew someone was looking in on them every day!



Save yourself time and effort by ordering their shopping online to be delivered. A friend did this for her housebound mother who lived too far away to visit every day. She looked forward to seeing the delivery man and finding little treats ordered with her normal shopping


13/8/2015 at 7:58am
 Location: Derbyshire
 Outfit: ElddisAvante462 Honda CRV SE2.2 i-Dtec
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I agree that the online shopping may work for them, although they do live in a remote rural area that at certain times of the year, gets cut off by bad weather, and is up a long steep driveway, hence our reason for changing our car for a 4x4 last year. They do have a local village shop, but the range is very limited, top price, and mainly tinned or frozen goods, they dont stock fresh meat, fruit or veg, and compared to the diet that Dad is used to, with things like Goats milk and butter, fresh deli meats, and a browse around the Ashbourne's Artisan shops for his bakery, butchery and Fishmonger needs, followed by Sainsburys for cleaning products, loo rolls and his beer, it was a day out he always enjoyed, his Monday Shopping day, and his whole routine has been thrown off balance.

Madam had to give in about one thing yesterday though, she had bought a pack of high priced cheap quality loo rolls from the village shop, and they were the kind that your fingers go straight through once wet, so she actually rang me to get them some Andrex and take them up, and offered me the offending packet to be used for Hampster fodder for Lily's pet, Bananas!

The main problem is getting madam to except help, she is fearcely independent, which is not good when she also gets very confused at times, l had thought of driving her into Ashbourne to do her shopping, but Dad says that shes not safe, as she would return with all kinds of things that they dont want or ever use, just like she orders clothes from catalogues that dont fit her, then just hords them in the spare room for months on end, until her son comes up from Suffolk and puts his foot down with he, and takes a load of it and the other rubbish she hords down to the charity shop for disposal.

Julia

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Just love to be out amoungst Nature and Wildlife

Celebrating 37 years of Caravanning in 2019, Recently Considered Retiring, but Totally Addicted for Life!


24/8/2015 at 7:08pm
 Location: None Entered
 Outfit: Too many!
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Just checking in to see how you are doing? 😊

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I am who I am



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