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Topic: Am I being selfish?

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pnefan

08/4/2016 at 12:35am
Location: Preston
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Just be truthfull. Make mention that you suspect your immediate family could be arranging a small surprise for your 65th birthday which unfortunately clashes with the day they have chosen to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Advise you have made enquiries about the different travel options but none would allow you to be back for the possible surprise from your family. Make mention your family had no idea they would be celebrating their anniversary before their actual wedding day so unfortunately you cant accept their very kind invitation and are sorry that you are going to miss seeing all the family. As other posters have advised send a card and flowers. That should cover all the bases and whilst they might have there suspicions they cant complain.

dillydom

09/4/2016 at 8:46am
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Selfish .. nah. Look on the bright side the money you'll save in not going you can put towards a holiday for yourself.

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Be kind, be happy.

ficklejade

09/4/2016 at 11:25pm
Location: Isle of Mull
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Did all the nice bits, still not popular. Time to stop being a wimp and go for me for once. I just got offered a job, too, for about 12 hours a month and £80 plus fuel - same job as I did before my Mum got so bad when I was regularly doing much more for £50. Maybe in this life you have to be selfish - doesn't sit easily with me, that, but the world's changed.

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" When I die I don`t want my life to flash before me in an instant, I want it to be a 3 hour epic !"

Tigermouse

10/4/2016 at 12:11am
Location: Bolton Lancs
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I wouldn't worry too much about it now - if they have a problem with you refusing the invite then it's exactly that, their problem. Sometimes in this world you have to be a bit selfish, it's called looking after number one, and if you don't who will? Well done on the job offer too, I hope it goes well for you

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Tigermouse

I have a very temperamental personality - 50% temper and 50% mental

ficklejade

10/4/2016 at 12:38am
Location: Isle of Mull
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Hey, Tigermouse, job'll help pay half the vet bills a month and son and I know what's important to us - our pooch!It's also a way of getting me back to feeling involved with the community I live in after over four years of isolation coz of caring full time for Mum. It's nearly a year since she died and neither I nor son have really moved on that much because of dog and, if honest, a kind of unreality or suspension of reality.

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" When I die I don`t want my life to flash before me in an instant, I want it to be a 3 hour epic !"

OliverDay

10/4/2016 at 12:38pm
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Quote: Originally posted by ficklejade on 09/4/2016
Maybe in this life you have to be selfish - doesn't sit easily with me, that, but the world's changed.

As I questioned in my post at top of page 2. I don't think there is anything wrong with being selfish when you need to look after yourself. Same as on an aeroplane when they say put your oxygen mask on before helping others.

You come across as a very caring person so you should have more confidence in thinking about yourself first.

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Ollie

2016
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weegmack

10/4/2016 at 8:31pm
Location: Ayrshire
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You're not being selfish at all. There is no way that journey is practical for a few hours of a party! We've had to do the same with a close family wedding a few years ago. Hubby had just been made redundant (which didn't last long thankfully) and the wedding was in Wales. By the time we'd factored in travel, accommodation for the four of us and a gift, the cost was prohibitive. So we just had to make the decision not to go.

Enjoy your birthday instead! Xx

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Gillian

heath63

10/4/2016 at 11:21pm
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Logistically and the expense does not make the trip viable.
Plus your son and friends are already doing something for your birthday.
To me the simple answer, is to decline the invitation and thank them for the invite, wish them all the best.

So no, you're not being selfish.

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New Year: Hesketh Bank
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TheHeadGardener

13/4/2016 at 11:26am
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You're not being selfish, they are.

We have refused similar invitations in the past for the same reasons - too far and at the time we also had an aged dog who could not possibly be put into a kennel.

My favourite cousin did not come to our wedding because it was a 700 mile round trip, would have to be squished into a weekend and the cost of 4 flights and accommodation for 2 adults and 2 kids was more than they could reasonably manage. I understood completely and there were no hard feelings.

Happy birthday to you, when it comes, and extra biccys and a scratch behind the ears for four-paws

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