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I have an 18 year old daughter who suffers with her confidence.

She will not talk to anyone over the phone, refuses to go into a shop to buy something and hates talking to strangers.

The main thing is the phone, no matter waht we try sh flatly refuses to use the phone.(at least my phone bills are lowish).

She wants to be a singer and attends a music college. At music events we have to gently talk her into getting up on stage.Always the same outcome on her first song, first minute a bit shaky, she then gets into it, finishes in a blaze of glory, then wants to sing some more.

When she's been on stage singing several songs she will not talk on the mic between tracks, no matter what.

It drives me and the OH insane.

Any ideas. 

Seeing as it has such a large impact on her everyday life you could suggest to her that she talks to her GP about it.  Her GP should be able to refer her to counselors or CBT practitioners who would be able to help her with the shop, phone and talking to strangers. (My late wife had similar problems and she was helped a lot that way.)

I’m very shy myself and I sing and play music as a hobby.   To some extent being shy can actually help when it comes to being on stage, if you’re always anxious in social situations then stage fright is business as usual, and once you’re on stage you have a lot more control than you do in most social situations.   Also, if you find it difficult to express yourself normally then you have a lot of pent up expression to let out to the audience. 

When I sing on stage I always start with a song that I’m very comfortable with to get me over the nerves, and I found that rehearsing what I say between the songs as well as the songs themselves helped my break my silence when I was starting out.  One technique I’ve found that helps me is that when I’m practicing at home for a gig I’ll pick an object across the room then sing and talk to that, then I can tap into that practice when I’m having problems with nerves on stage by picking an object behind the audience to sing or talk to, once the performance is flowing I can shift my focus into the audience.

Your daughter is doing really well going on stage to sing.  You should let her do what she wants and go with the flow, she is still young.  Many great thespians and singers, are quivering wrecks before for they go on stage, at times  to the point of throwing up.

Just be there for her, giving your daughter all the support she needs.   Be laid back as she will pick up your feelings.

heath63

Quote: Originally posted by Patrick40 on 11/9/2012

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One technique I’ve found that helps me is that when I’m practicing at home for a gig I’ll pick an object across the room then sing and talk to that, then I can tap into that practice when I’m having problems with nerves on stage by picking an object behind the audience to sing or talk to, once the performance is flowing I can shift my focus into the audience.

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