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 Topic: Screamin Kids Banned From Shops
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23/2/2013 at 10:13am
Location: wigan
Outfit: sprite musketeer
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Joined: 20/8/2006 
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I'm one of the anti-noisy-child people. We steer away from family pubs, love adult only sites and prefer to stay at home at Bank Holidays. However, tantruming etc is part of how we learn what is OK and not - providing we have the strong, positive parenting that we need to learn better ways of dealing with negative feelings.
In the OP it seems that the child in question doesn't have this, and in turn neither did mum - as gran is still adopting ineffective behaviour management for all to see! Therefore she probably didn't have the necessary guidance and boundaries either.
Having worked with families with significant difficulties (usually resulting in badly behaved children) for 15 years I can only remember 2 or 3 who I felt didn't 'give a toss', the vast majority cared very much but felt such a lack of control and low confidence in their ability to parent that they gave up trying to manage behaviour, handing over the 'power' to the kids. Clearly this is not the way forward!
To break the cycle there needs to be massive investment in prevention services - but where to start? Sadly, often its those who need services the most that don't take them up.
I live in an area of some deprivation and along with that goes lots of kids who are subject to poor parenting. Drives me mad, standing in the queue at Asda listening to the parents behaving badly, but the fact is most (not all, I know) are doing what they think is right and no amount of glares, tuts and loud critical comments from my fellow shoppers will change the situation.
So, ideas on a postcard please - to improve parental ability, confidence and self esteem subsequently turning out well behaved confident level-headed kids! Got plenty of my own, perhaps I'll pop down to No 10 to give the PM the benefit of my suggestions!
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