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Subject Topic: Funny speaking Sat nav ? Post Reply Post New Topic
Personjeff juke
09/5/2014 at 2:32pm
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Ive had Sat Navs in the past but none as weird/funny as the one in my VW Tiguan.

Last night was the first time since i got the car to use its sat nav and compared to others which remained silent before a turn off this one had me in stitches..

At the next r/bout take the second exit.

Your next turn will be SOON..never heard that before ?

You are on the A// and will be on this for a LONG TIME ??

Now that was funny..

Take the next exit on your left at the R/about and take the third exit...not the first or second but the third exit..WOW..

Has anybody else got a sat nav like this ?

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Animals have feelings..

JEFF................


PersonScampi
09/5/2014 at 3:37pm
 Location: Leeds
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Hubby's Skoda used the 'stay on the [road number] for a long time' phrase - made us laugh too!  Maybe it's a 'group' thing, as I think VW, Audi and Skoda share things.


Personjasie
09/5/2014 at 3:37pm
 Location: Bath
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loads of voiceovers available....

i currently have Eddie Izzard on mine...i cant repeat some of the stuff he says...suffice to say i have to be careful to change it when the kids are in the car. The best one is when he wants you to turn around ...i am sure you can imagine what it says

i started recording my daughters voice when she was about 4 to use her as the voice of the gps...but the mic broke and we never got around to finishing it. in fact she said the other day have we got a new mic yet so we can finish them...she's 8 now !!


Personborntoshop
09/5/2014 at 3:51pm
 Location: West Midlands
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So long as it doesn't make the comment my daughter made when map-reading:

"What I said back there was a little bit rubbish actually"

So, am I on the right road?

"Yeah, but going in the wrong direction."

In fairness, she was only 13 at the time

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Personjelboy53
09/5/2014 at 4:10pm
 Location: Cumbernauld Scotland
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Have heard you can get them in "Glasgow Ned" mode that tells you "Get aff this road yer gaun the wrang whey ya numpty ye"....

Don't have one...But been in cars when the Sat Nav is on and have a laugh when the voice gets a wee bit agitated and more strident the further along the wrong way you go.....

Personally...If I had one I would switch the voice off as it would do my nut in after 10mins!!!

Jelboy.

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Campers of the storm,Into this world are born

Some days are Diamonds...Some days are stone...


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PersonAndyDW
09/5/2014 at 4:55pm
 Location: Lincs
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Wish I could switch my interactive sat nav off. Damn thing gets arsey and argues back. SWMBO


PersonBramston
09/5/2014 at 5:00pm
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Try having 2 different sat navs running at once and listen to them arguing.

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Enjoy the liveliness of the syntax.


Persongeoffprinter
09/5/2014 at 6:21pm
 Location: Kent
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Friends of ours sat nav has got the voice of Mr Byrnes (the Simpsons) giving the instructions and little quips. Its hilarious.


PersonRTS5
09/5/2014 at 8:34pm
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I used to have a surfer dude on my phone one. He said things like, "Turn right, that's right", " Recalculating so don't hassle me dude". All in a lazy surfer style. Always used to make us chuckle.


PersonHedgehugger
09/5/2014 at 11:29pm
 Location: Wirral
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I once travelled in a car with an Ozzie Osborne satnav voice - I trust I do not have to draw you a picture... On the return journey we tried Joanna Lumley - much more tranquil!

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Always edited for sloppy typing - when I spot it!


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Personcliffbrown
10/5/2014 at 7:51am
 Location: chesterfield
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THIS MAKES ME CHUCKLE111

I have a little Satnav
It sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver's friend
It tells you where you are

I have a little Satnav
I've had it all my life
It’s better than the normal ones
My Satnav is my wife

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour", it says
"You're doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice

It fills me up with counselling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And - keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off.


Personchaddite
16/5/2014 at 6:29pm
 Location: Derby
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One of the funniest satnavs I have seen was on an episode of Oz and James drink to Britain when in Ireland. They switched it onto Romanian I think it was, anyway its on you tube-worth and worth a look.


Personduffs54
16/5/2014 at 7:11pm
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Cliff That is hilarious x

I'm off to look for the Eddie Izzard one x

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Duffs54      


PersonMrs. Bonce
16/5/2014 at 8:30pm
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In Italy and the sat nav in our car suddenly started speaking in Swedish (I think) for no reason! a young boy fixed it for us...

Anne



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