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Subject Topic: Camping With Ex-Wife
Page:  1  2 Post Reply Post New Topic
29/3/2010 at 10:49am
 Location: Cheshire
 Outfit: Pennine Pullman & Cabanon Tent
View 89angela's Profile View Profile   Reply to 89angela Reply   Quote 89angela Quote  
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It's a shame that the kids have to miss out on family camping because you decided to split so from that point of view it's great, but you need to be very careful that they don't see it as the start of you getting back together if that's not going to happen.


29/3/2010 at 11:18am
 Location: Newton le Willows LANCASHIRE
 Outfit: Burnt out wreck
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There are none so blind as those who will not see....She wants you back matey !!


29/3/2010 at 11:26am
 Location: East Kent
 Outfit: Cabanons x 2. Norfolk Lake
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Wow, this if a  potential minefielfd isn`t it? Could be hurtful for you and preventing you moving on, but fantastic for the kids.

I think as long as you know exactly where you both stand before you go then you should be OK.

When OH and I had a seperation we did go to the lake District for a few nights with the kids in a family room ( already paid for before the problems and the kids badly needed to go).

It was weird TBH, and we did go on to get back together.

I have to say, having done it, seperate tents might be more comfortable for you, have your own space in case things get a bit tense?

Just like to say, good on you both for making it easy and "normal" for you children.



-------------
Jo
PREVIOUSLY u400jb9


29/3/2010 at 12:45pm
 Location: None Entered
 Outfit: 5M Bell Outwel WL5 Rosas Q Base II
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Hello,

My tuppence worth echos some of the others mentioned.  I'd wonder what the kids would secretly be hoping would be the outcome of a "happy families" camping trip.  Even if its all explained clearly to them that the separation is permanent, and they say they understand about the split, you just don't know that they aren't secretly hoping deep in their hearts that the camping holiday will bring you both back together again.  (How old are they?)  If this is their (natural) wish and it doesn't happen, they will end up gutted.  Also if one of you parents makes a move toward the other because old feelings are rekindled, and there is rejection from the other side, this will make things awfully uncomfortable for everybody - there is no hiding from "tension" in a tent! 

Anyway, hope it works out as its meant to be and good for all concerned.

Humbird



29/3/2010 at 12:54pm
 Location: North West
 Outfit: Obelink Familia 6; ESVO Bedouin 280
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Sounds like we have a rule of thumb appearing. 

Too tense? --> Two tents.

I can't answer the question for you.  Only you know how things are with you and your ex.  It MIGHT be great for the kids, but only if the two of you are able to be relaxed and actually have some fun.  They will pick up on an act pretty quickly (or worse - if it turns into a weekend of arguments... ). 

Some have said that she wants you back - please don't get your hopes up!

I think that, if you want to consider it, have a good chat with her about the problems you are afraid of.  You never know, you might have a fab time!

Good luck - I would give it a try, but it's up to you!



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29/3/2010 at 1:09pm
 Location: Southport
 Outfit: Vango Orchy 600
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Firstly thanks to everyone for their open and honest comments.  My wife and I really are best of friends, we got together as a couple 11 years ago and married 7 years ago.  Our daughter is 8 and our son is 5 and our joint intention for the children is for things to remain as normal as possible, they are both very good kids and all kids are very resiliant and they seem to have accepted the split very well.  Thing is the split wasnt caused by loads of arguments or slanging matches, we kind of just drifted apart as a couple and this seems to have made it better for the kids.

The point of all the ramble is that above everything else our very genuine brilliant friendship is still right there, we are still quite affectionate towards each other but there is definitely no chance of reconciliation.

I love camping and the children love camping, if this hadnt been suggested I would simply have gone with just me and the kids.  I think the answer is, as has been suggested, to be completely honest about what the boundaries are BEFORE we go and make certain they are kept to!  Oh and stick the pup tent in the boot, just in case!!

Cheers, GC



29/3/2010 at 3:00pm
 Location: Middlesbrough
 Outfit: None Entered
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Good luck with it GC hope the right decision is made for all 4 of you.



-------------
Shirls


29/3/2010 at 4:01pm
 Location: Tidbury Green
 Outfit: Swift Fairway SE 442
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I think you have already made your mind up; and only you two can really know what's best I guess.

One word of "warning" don't assume the kids are over it. kids are really good at trying to keep both Mom and Dad happy. My Daughter took nearly 8 years to finally "spill the beans" about how she really felt about my split (she's 19 now so it's far easier for her to talk about grown up things)

I would always try to keep things as normal as possible. However, you would not "normally" go away with your "Ex" As others have said - be careful of sending mixed messages to your children.

Good luck.



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