In my opinion this constituted a fixture so should not have been removed after you bought it.
Did they list the items eg. radio, cd player etc on your purchase agreement ?
Was the tow bar listed as one of the items ?
Just because tow bars don't come as standard on the new models I don't think this alters your rights when buying second hand - you could say that you are buying goods "as seen" and you saw the tow bar when you viewed the car.
Is the tow bar mentioned on the log book as a modification by a previous owner ?
This is a bit of a long shot admittedly.
Personally I think this is a bit of a cheap trick by the dealer who probably wants to sell it on separately - as always "buyer beware" and next time mention each item specifically and make sure that everything is included.
Be matter of fact and don't lose your temper - but tell them you want it put back on the car and say "What time can I bring it in for you to do the work ? "
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