Message Forums

Oh and I went camping last bank holiday. As we're both secondary school teachers and foster carers, we decided to go for a 'primarily adults' campsite - take a break from all things teenage!

Well, campsite was lovely, quiet and owners were very welcoming. One of the days we went for a walk to a nearby seaside village and enjoyed an icecream on some benches. There were lots of people around - particulalry older people. There were also three teenagers - a girl and two boys - who were talking very loudly punctuating every other word with strings of profanities. This didn't offend me but I was concerned about the older people around who may have found this sort of behaviour intimidating.

OH and I gave our best teacher stare and they walked off eventually. On returning to the campsite later in the afternoon we found the owner of the campsite tending to the field next to our tent and heard a boy's voice yell 'We're going to help Grandad' and round the corner walks the two sweary boys from the beach.

I very loudly announced to OH that a funny coincidence had just happened and again pulled my very best teacher face with crossed arms and raised eyebrows towards to two lads and we then loudly discussed how offensive some people find certain language etc.

We discussed telling the owners but decided that the incident was separate from thier business although I would like to be told if one of my charges had behaved in this way. We are hoping to go back to the camp site and I only hope the two boys have learnt that your behaviour has consequences. Just curious to know if others would have mentioned this to the owners of the campsite as I would hate to see others put off from the area because of such behaviour.

I reckon they knew they had done wrong by the fact they were saying about the bad language and were probably sweating thinking you would tell their Grandad.  I would have done the same as you and left it....but , if it happens again when you go back I would say something, maybe to them first.  All kids try and show off in front of their mates.  I remember painting swear words outside my house when I was about 7 obviously not thinking that everyone would read it!!!  My Dad didn't go beserk because he knew just the thought of being told off was enough!!!

Fee x

OH and I were the ones loudly talking about the offensive nature of such behaviour - the two boys simply raked and looked worried. That was one reason we decided to leave it - hope the threat of us was enough to curb their swearing in public next time.

Unfortunately it’s the world we live in and teenagers in general they are probably quite polite at home etc, i live in Merseyside Wirral you go to Birkenhead town and this is common yet go to Liverpool city and its completely different very nice to concerned with shopping to waste time of swearing etc and yet people curse Liverpool odd world hopefully they will all turn out to be fine specimens.

dont forget though, that although you are teachers, youre not 'their' teachers! so they dont know that! youre 'teachers stare' to them will just be you giving them a dirty look, and who the hell are you to be giving them the evils (prob what theyre thinking, not me btw lol!)

you have to be careful out of your own school setting that you are not going to antagonise the situation, and also dont forget that you dont know the background of these lads!!!

i am always ultra careful when dealing with young people that i dont work with, but haveing said that, i wouldve said something to them, but not told them off, that is not my place, but i would talk to them about how their language can affect others,

i work with the most disengaged, dissafected and challeging young people (i am sometimes their last call before going into secure units) so i know how they can be!!

Quote: Originally posted by tinallkn4 on 14/5/2009

---

dont forget though, that although you are teachers, youre not 'their' teachers! so they dont know that! youre 'teachers stare' to them will just be you giving them a dirty look, and who the hell are you to be giving them the evils (prob what theyre thinking, not me btw lol!)

 - teacher stare works great - I can shut a screaming child up in tescos in seconds - years of practice.

you have to be careful out of your own school setting that you are not going to antagonise the situation, and also dont forget that you dont know the background of these lads!!!

Hence why we didn't say anything to the lads at the time of the swearing

Working with kids and stroppy teenagers myself, I always find that they are quite responsive to a telling off aslong as its not too condescending - they are little adults after all and they are more than aware that their behaviour sometimes is not appropriate.

Like someone said, they were probably just trying to act "hard" in front of their mates - we've all been there!

We don;t tend to say anything if we are out and about as we generally have out two with us (7 and 4). We don't want to hear that type of language let alone our boys hear it. However to tackle them in front of the boys could cause more damage if the reaction to our requests to tone down their language caused more bad language directed at us or worse caused violence in front of the boys. We should stand up to it but each circumstance dictates a different reaction.

Not so long ago I was walking up the road from our office behind a youth dressed in a hoody. He started trying all the car doors as he went along obviously looking for an easy target to get into. He was unaware anyone was behind him. After some thought I decided to cough loudly rather than tackle him direct with a challenge. It was enough he stopped yanking at the car doors and sped off. It took some thought however to do anything because of widely reported stories involving people who have tried to do the right thing and come unstuck.

If you had said anything to Grandad and they denied it he possibly would side with them as family rather than two comparative strangers. If they recognised you at all (which I somewhat doubt) they might now give it some thought but peer pressure is also a very strong thing.

Cheers

Quote: Originally posted by mrs darcy on 14/5/2009

---

Quote: Originally posted by tinallkn4 on 14/5/2009

---

dont forget though, that although you are teachers, youre not 'their' teachers! so they dont know that! youre 'teachers stare' to them will just be you giving them a dirty look, and who the hell are you to be giving them the evils (prob what theyre thinking, not me btw lol!)

 - teacher stare works great - I can shut a screaming child up in tescos in seconds - years of practice.

you have to be careful out of your own school setting that you are not going to antagonise the situation, and also dont forget that you dont know the background of these lads!!!

Hence why we didn't say anything to the lads at the time of the swearing

---

But surely to anyone who doesn't know you or your occupation, you are simply staring at them?  While I would use that stare in my own school I don't think I would involve myself elsewhere.