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Subject Topic: 50 Shades of Grey Post Reply Post New Topic
04/10/2012 at 4:18pm
 Location:  Wales
 Outfit:  Volvo XC60 R Design
View madasaman's Profile View Profile   Reply to madasaman Reply   Quote madasaman Quote  
Joined: 13/3/2011

Diamond Member
Diamond Member

Forum Posts:   2036

Site Reviews Total: 60
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Site Reviews 2022: 2  
Site Reviews 2021: 5  
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The missus bought a

Paperback down Mumbles,

Saturday,

I had a look in to her bag;

T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.



Well I just left her to it,

At ten I went to bed.

And, one hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread…..



In her left hand, she held a rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor,

And then began to strip.



Well fifty years or so ago;

I might have had a peek;

But Doris hasn’t weathered well;

She’s eighty four next week.



Watching Doris bump and grind;

Could not have been much grimmer.

Things they went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!



She struggled back upon her feet;

A couple minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and…

Said…..That I must dominate her!!



Now if you knew our Doris,

You’d see just why I spluttered,

I'’d spent two months in traction

From our last mad sex, I muttered.



She stood there nude, all naked like;

Bent forward just a bit ….

So I thought what the hell,

Stepped forward,

but stood on her left tit!



Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;

My god what had I done!?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

“Step on the other one”!!



Well readers, I can’t tell no more;

About what occurred that day.

Suffice to say, my jet black hair,….

Turned “fifty shades of Grey”.


-------------
73 going on 25
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder



04/10/2012 at 5:12pm
 Location: The foot hills of no
 Outfit:  A full biohazard su
View moppetsdad's Profile View Profile   Reply to moppetsdad Reply   Quote moppetsdad Quote  
Joined: 29/3/2009

Platinum Member
Platinum Member

Forum Posts:   1032
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1717

-------------
David

    

I've stood on Lego and didn't even cry!!


04/10/2012 at 6:31pm
 Location: Scotland
 Outfit: Swift Conqueror 645
View Rallye550's Profile View Profile   Reply to Rallye550 Reply   Quote Rallye550 Quote  
Joined: 13/6/2011

Gold Member
Gold Member

Forum Posts:   247

Site Reviews Total: 3
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Excellent xx

-------------
Live every day as if it's your last but not at risk to others :-)


04/10/2012 at 9:02pm
 Location: Blackpool
 Outfit: Transporter T5
View John_Young's Profile View Profile   Reply to John_Young Reply   Quote John_Young Quote  
Joined: 22/8/2006

Standard Member
Standard Member

Forum Posts:   45
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Site Reviews Total: 0
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Brilliant .   I'll borrow that if I may?

-------------
Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most!


04/10/2012 at 9:59pm
 Location: North Yorkshire
 Outfit: Kuro 500; Bailey Orion; Fiat Ducato
View c6cazzie's Profile View Profile   Reply to c6cazzie Reply   Quote c6cazzie Quote  
Joined: 14/5/2010

Platinum Member
Platinum Member

Forum Posts:   851

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Brilliant! Would like to "borrow" too!

-------------
Caz :)


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04/10/2012 at 10:56pm
 Location: None Entered
 Outfit: Swift Caravan
View Twurly's Profile View Profile   Reply to Twurly Reply   Quote Twurly Quote  
Joined: 29/5/2011

Gold Member
Gold Member

Forum Posts:   215

Site Reviews Total: 1
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1717 Very Good I would also like to borrow it. 17

-------------
You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option!


05/10/2012 at 12:21am
 Location: Southampton
 Outfit: Elddis supreme 550
View Alis Gang's Profile View Profile   Reply to Alis Gang Reply   Quote Alis Gang Quote  
Joined: 12/8/2010

Gold Member
Gold Member

Forum Posts:   244

Site Reviews Total: 4
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Love it!!!  17 17

Ali

 




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