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A pirate walks into a bar. The barman says "Good grief, what happened? You look terrible!"
The pirate says "What do you mean, terrible?"
"Well", says the barman, "what about the wooden leg?that's new."
"Ah", says the pirate, " a cannonball blew my leg off in a sea battle, but the wooden leg is fine."
"And the hook?", asks the barman, "what happened to your hand?"
"That was a sword fight at sea - my hand was cut off but the hook works well", replied the pirate.
"So how did you lose the eye?" asked the barman, pointing to the pirate's eye patch.
"Well" says the pirate, "I looked up at a flock of birds and one pooped in my eye."
"Ah now", says the barman, "surely you couldn't lose your eye from that?"
"Well, eh, it was my first day with the hook, you see...."
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