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Subject Topic: Elephant Post Reply Post New Topic
15/5/2016 at 12:18pm
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Bloke goes to the docs and says "Doc,you have to help me ive got problems making love".

"I see by your records you have tried every thing thats on the market"Says the doctor.

"Thats true"replied the bloke," But surely there must be some thing out there".

"Well there just might be something "Said the doc "as they have been doing tests with the muscle from an elephants trunk".

"I will try anything i am desperate" replied the bloke.

So after the Op and a months recovery hes off on a date with some one he met on a dating site to a small cafe.

As their sitting at a table his penis comes up and swipes a bun from a plate.

"Did you see that"says the girl."See what"says the bloke.

"Some thing came up from your side of the table and swiped one of those buns off the table and disappeared under your side of the table" said the girl.

"Nope,never saw a thing "says the bloke.

A few minutes later his penis comes up and swipes another bun.

"There it is again"Said the girl."You must have seen that"

Knowing he has been found out the bloke decides to come clean and tells her of his trouble and the operation he had.

"Thats amazing could you do it again "says the girl.

"I could"says the bloke "but i dont think my ass could take another bun"



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Animals have feelings..

JEFF................


15/5/2016 at 9:00pm
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"I will try anything i am desperate" replied the bloke.

even resurrect old jokes


15/5/2016 at 10:34pm
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Jeff , your a mate and i love you to bits , but , your on your own with this one mate , not even a crack a&e crash team can save that one ;-)

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There's a place for all gods creatures ,,

Right next to the potatoes and veg ,,,


15/5/2016 at 10:45pm
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Jeff, Time to pack your trunk.

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Ollie

2016
Monplaisir - Provence
Camping Les Gorges du Loup


16/5/2016 at 7:45am
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We must tell Baddon that business is back to normal.


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16/5/2016 at 10:01am
 Location: Clacton on Sea . Sunshine Coast
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Not all of baddons jokes are badduns Stuart , for us mere street dwelling mortals , they pass the smile test and do their job , for you lot with your head stuck in the clouds , it may not be your cup of tea , but then a lot of your jokes are not our cup of tea , and definitely not Ollies , takes all sorts , that's why we have different types of tea . But I suspect ollie takes the herbal muck .

Post last edited on 16/05/2016 10:09:51

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There's a place for all gods creatures ,,

Right next to the potatoes and veg ,,,


16/5/2016 at 10:17am
 Location: Clacton on Sea . Sunshine Coast
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And oxie takes his up a dark highland alleyway , whilst sporting his best brown hat ...

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There's a place for all gods creatures ,,

Right next to the potatoes and veg ,,,


16/5/2016 at 11:28am
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There aint no pleasing some folk

-------------
Animals have feelings..

JEFF................


16/5/2016 at 12:44pm
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Don't worry Jeff, it made me snort with laughter. Steve, all tea is 'herbal' - don't you know.

-------------
Ollie

2016
Monplaisir - Provence
Camping Les Gorges du Loup


16/5/2016 at 3:29pm
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Stevie :

What is all this tolerance and understanding muck?

Have you not learned anything living in Tendring?


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16/5/2016 at 3:43pm
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Stuart , sometimes it's easier just to live and let live , and openly discuss their faults , in a nice quiet way , and hope they see the light , but not with bandits . Or frogs , PC brigade , lots of wimmin , most taffs , cat lovers , shoppers , customers who think they know about plumbing , Americans . And lots of others not worth mentioning .

Post last edited on 16/05/2016 15:51:32

-------------

There's a place for all gods creatures ,,

Right next to the potatoes and veg ,,,


16/5/2016 at 10:46pm
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Quote: Originally posted by OliverDay on 16/5/2016
Steve, all tea is 'herbal' - don't you know.



Ollie , all tea is not " herbal " - don't you know .

To put it simply...a tea is "only a true tea" if it actually contains tea plant leaves. And thus...this is why oolong, white, green and black are considered "true teas," as their leaves come from the actual tea plant camellia sinensis. By contrast, rooibos and herbal teas do NOT contain leaves from the tea plant.

But then I do believe things are a little different on the south coast .

-------------

There's a place for all gods creatures ,,

Right next to the potatoes and veg ,,,


17/5/2016 at 9:39pm
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Just sitting here sipping my beef tea and wondering just what kind of herb is a cow is.

-------------
Silence is golden
Duct tape is silver


17/5/2016 at 9:52pm
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Google 'beef tea' - "a drink made from stewed extract of beef, used as nourishment for invalids."

Not my words.

-------------
Ollie

2016
Monplaisir - Provence
Camping Les Gorges du Loup


18/5/2016 at 12:42am
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Well as it eats and craps grass miserly , under Ollies laws of nature that could possibly make it a herb , I don't much fancy an infusion of Linda McCartney though or Herbie the beetle .

-------------

There's a place for all gods creatures ,,

Right next to the potatoes and veg ,,,



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