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 Topic: You decide, funny or not.
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 via mobile 05/4/2019 at 2:17pm
Location: Preston
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Joined: 25/2/2013 Platinum Member 
Forum Posts: 923
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Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical.
A few days later the doctor ‘phones and says “Paddy, you realise you’ve got sugar diabetes.”
Paddy says, “Nice one, when do I fight him?”
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.
A Muslim bloke I work with was bragging he had the entire Koran on DVD
Being interested, I asked him to burn me a copy. Well, that’s when it all kicked off
An Irishmen wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said "You must answer 3 questions on the Bible".
"1st - Who was born in a stable?" "Red Rum" he replied"
2nd - What do you think of Damascus?" "It kills 99% of all germs" he replied.
"3rd - What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive ?"
"That’s easy" he said "Popeye kicked the s**t out of them!!"
Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years "His Dad replies "Never mind Son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part!!"
A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy
but do you treat dwarves?"The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt't wi us."
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made
by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"
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