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Topic: Cold Night

664DaveS

14/1/2020 at 5:38pm
Location: Shropshire
Outfit: Bailey Phoenix GT 75

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Joined: 24/7/2007

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It had been a bitterly cold night and the farmer went out to round up his cows for milking, only to find them all frozen solid, motionless; like statues.
He never thought anything like this could happen.
With his entire livestock gone, how would he make ends meet? He sat with his head in his hands, trying to come to terms with his impending poverty.
Just then, an elderly woman walked by. "What's the matter?" asked the old lady.
The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his predicament.
Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub one of the cows noses. After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon back to normal and chewing the cud.
One by one, the old woman defrosted the cows until the whole field was full of healthy animals.
The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a repayment for her deed.
She declined his offer and walked off across the field.
A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer.
"You know who that was don't you?" he asked.
"No" said the farmer "who?"

"That was Thora Hird."

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DS-There's more to life than football!!!

SGThomas

14/1/2020 at 6:42pm
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pnefan

via mobile 17/1/2020 at 2:04pm
Location: Preston
Outfit: None

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moppetsdad

17/1/2020 at 3:07pm
Location: The foot hills of no
Outfit: A full biohazard su

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David

I've stood on Lego and didn't even cry!!

derekcbr

25/1/2020 at 5:48pm
Location: Wrexham North Wales
Outfit: Eriba 540 Troll

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An old man goes into his doctors and says he wants a sperm count.
‘What’, says the doc,’You're 78yrs old, man, what do you want a sperm count for?’
‘Listen,’ says the old man,’I’ve paid all my dues and I’m still sexually active, and I want to know!’
‘Oh all right,’ says the doc and goes into a drawer and picks our a small screw top jar.
‘When you next - you know what - put some in this jar’ says the doc.
A few days later the old man returns to the doc and hands over the jar.
‘There’s nothing in it!’ exclaims the doc.
‘I know’ says the old man, ‘I tried with my left hand and then my right hand. I got the wife to try with her both hands too. In desperation I got the wife to take her teeth out and try with her mouth and I gotta tell you doc.....there’s no way we can get the top off that jar!’

What were you thinking! Shame on you. He he

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