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Subject Topic: More covide 19 humour Post Reply Post New Topic
Personpnefan
via mobile 11/4/2020 at 8:02pm
 Location: Preston
 Outfit: None View pnefan's Profile View Profile   Reply to pnefan Reply   Quote pnefan Quote  
Joined: 25/2/2013

Platinum Member
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Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks.  The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

 

*  I used to spin the toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune.  Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.

 

*  I need to practice social distancing from . . . the refrigerator.

 

*  Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter/Passover . . . The Living Room or The Bedroom.

 

*  Every few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.  Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

 

*  Homeschooling is going well.  2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job!

 

*  I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to Twilight Zone.

 

*  This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat.  It was obvious she thought her cat understood her.  I came into the house, told my dog . . . we laughed a lot.

 

*  So, after this quarantine, will the producers of My 600 Pound life just find me or do I find them?

 

*  Quarantine Day 5:  Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN.  You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal.  I have no clue how this place is still in business!

 

*  My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

 

*  Day 5 of Homeschooling:  One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

 

*  I’m so excited . . . it’s time to take out the garbage.  What to wear, what to wear?

 

*  I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyardia.  I’m getting tired of Los Livingroomia.

 

*  Classified Ad:  Single man with toilet paper seeks women with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

 

*  Day 6 of Homeschooling:  My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year.”  I’m offended.


Personjeff juke
12/4/2020 at 5:17pm
 Location: 
 Outfit:  View jeff juke's Profile View Profile   Reply to jeff juke Reply   Quote jeff juke Quote  
Joined: 09/8/2010

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-------------
Animals have feelings..

JEFF................


PersonBridgelayer
14/4/2020 at 3:50pm
 Location: West Yorks
 Outfit: Gobur Carousel View Bridgelayer's Profile View Profile   Reply to Bridgelayer Reply   Quote Bridgelayer Quote  
Joined: 24/5/2012

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I remember when I used to shout at the kids for sneaking out of the house to get a bit of freedom.

Now they're shouting at me!

Reverse of roles?

-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       



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