Advertisement
Message Forums |
|
 Topic: It`s only Christmas!!!!!
|
  |
04/12/2020 at 5:25pm
Location: The foot hills of no
Outfit: A full biohazard su
View Profile
Reply
Quote
|
Joined: 29/3/2009 Platinum Member 
Forum Posts: 1032
Tent Reviews: 1
| Site Reviews Total: | 0 |
|
| Site Reviews 2024: | 0  |
| Site Reviews 2023: | 0 |
| Site Reviews 2022: | 0 |
| Site Reviews 2021: | 0 |
| Site Reviews 2020: | 0 |
| Site Reviews 2019: | 0 |
| Site Reviews 2018: | 0 |
|
| Site Nights 2024: | 0 |
| Site Nights 2023: | 0 |
| Site Nights 2022: | 0 |
| Site Nights 2021: | 0 |
| Site Nights 2020: | 0 |
| Site Nights 2019: | 0 |
| Site Nights 2018: | 0 |
|
Just in case anyone is stressing about Christmas Day..............!
Here's my top tip for Christmas Dinner....
I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs...
It's a Sunday dinner for goodness sake!!!
The only difference is that you are allowed to open a bottle of wine before you open the kitchen curtains.
We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not!
Here goes...
1. Turkey... It's a big fecking chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un! Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over its cooked!
2. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a ***** load of fresh herbs to make stuffing....( no fecking wonder he's bankrupt if that's what he spends to make stuffing!)
What you need is Paxo and a kettle!! If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking .
3. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one as well....
Bisto Jamie.... All you need is Bisto!
I ( nor anyone else I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to ***** about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy
4. Vegetables... Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough!
5. Roast potatoes... Yes, I par boil mine, then roast them in goose fat, but Aunt Bessie also does the same .
6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like.... Aldi or Lidl!
(oh and while we're on the subject of pudding - if Birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter/rum sauce, etc, or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
7. Family....
Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave 'em to it, it doesn't matter. Once they are fed, ***** them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in peace!
Adults... Anyone that can manage to get their sorry backside to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/sort the kids out/clear the table/wash up/dry up, etc.
And Finally.....
NO ONE.... And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET ***** AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!!
Rant over
Merry Christmas!
Cheers
-------------
David
I've stood on Lego and didn't even cry!!
|
|
|
5049 Visitors online !
Free UKCampsite.co.uk Window Sticker - Recommend to Friend - Add a Missing Campsite
[Message Forums]
[Caravan Sites & Camping]
[Company Listings]
[Features / Advice]
[Virtual Brochure]
[Shop!]
[Reception]
[Competitions]
[Caravans & Motorhomes For Sale]
[Event Diary]
[Contact Us]
[Tent Reviews]
Please note we are not responsible for the content of external sites & any reviews represent the author's personal view only. Please report any error here. You may view our privacy and cookie policy and terms and conditions here. All copyrights & other intellectual property rights in the design and content of this web site are reserved to the UKCampsite.co.uk © 1999 - 2024 |
Advertisement
|
|
|
via mobile 05/12/2020 at 6:44am
