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The instructions on tents are normally useless anyway tbh so you are best off trying it out before you go. I would do anyway even if you had used the tent before just to check that it is ok.  If you have rods I would lie them next to each other and you will see length differences and or different colour schemes which will hint as to where they go and you just have to be logical about where each rod goes. I would write it down too (we always think that we will remember but every year......). It normally takes people a long time to put the tent up the first couple of times and as long as you both just relax and dont fall out then you will be fine.

have a look at the reviews on here for campsites - they are normally quite accurate and trip advisor is useful too. It depends what you are looking for - quiet countryside with just the basic facilities or more of a holiday park style. There are some camping and caravanning club sites I think which are normally clean (and you can check their reviews).

Hope that helps