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Ashurst immediately came to my mind - you literally turn right out of the campsite and then go straight down A35 and A33 and it'll get you to the Isle of Wight Ferry. There's no electricity but there are decent showers and toilets (and from memory a washing up area?). Campsite is literally next to the "New Forest" pub which serves good food, has lots of space and is very childfriendly (even has a little playground area). Please note that I believe dogs are NOT allowed at this site as New Forest ponies freely roam around (your username suggests you may have dogs). The London-Southampton-Weymouth trainline does run beside the campsite but even in a tent we did not get disturbed by the noise when we last camped there.
Depending on when you're coming down, and whether you're a member of the CCC, but local DA's usually run rallies at Royal Victoria Country Park throughout the summer. Assuming they'd be happy for an early morning departure, that'd be another option. No electricity but a small portacabin with nice clean loos and a shower. Park itself is lovely with views across Southampton Water (though not from your pitch) - again if you have kids there's are several playgrounds at the Park catering for all ages. Park is a little remote but there are places to eat a short drive away. If you say the date you're planning on overnighting, I'm happy to look up rallies for you.
If you'd rather not pitch and setup for one night, another option would perhaps be the Holiday Inn Express Southampton West (at Adanac Park, SO16). Again its an easy drive along A33 to the ferry and also has good parking with CCTV (they have space for coaches, so shouldn't be any problem to fit you in but would be worth calling them to discuss). There's nothing much round the hotel but I'd recommend the "Ship Inn" pub on Old Redbridge Road, SO15 which is just 5 minutes drive away - good decent food and lovely atmosphere, child friendly without being overrun by kids.
Whereabouts are you going on the Island? We had a lovely time when we went.
------------- Excitedly making camping plans for this year.... just can't make up my mind at the moment!
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