Hi my name is Paul
I have a 9. Year old who has ADHD I have read on this forum other threads .
Sue and I would like to meet or have contact with other parents who have children with issues that other parents do not really understand.
My lad is not naughty or the devils child he is just wired differently than other children. It breaks my heart as I hear comments he old do with a back hander or a good slap. I am sitting in the garden with my wife and dan is running round with his good friend Tom who has a calming influence and it is fantastic.
I would like to go camping with my family and Tom without the comments he is a naughty boy when will other people realise not all children are naughty . Where can we meet or camp were other people understand
Thank you from a loving mum and dad.
I spent many years working with children with ADHD, including many camping trips. Unfortunately for the ones I worked with they did not have the loving and responsible parents you seem to be. But I can tell you camping, and other outdoor activities, was something that always had a calming and positive influence. We did however often have to do a lot of wild camping away from big busy sites lol!
Keep you chin up. You will be looking back at some of the crazy things one day with a smile on your faces, as bloody tiring as it is now it won't be forever. Google for some support groups too, they do exist but i dont know of any myself. Good luck!
I agree with the above, I also work with many young people who have ADHD and they have not experienced consistent, safe and stable parenting. As you will have been advised by the professionals working with your son, boundaries are extremely important, consistency and clarity of rules and expectations (realistic expectations). But hobbies that involve nature and physical tasks, natural tasks really do seem to make a positive impact, it seems to help them tune into their own behaviour and connect to it more effectively.
Are you linked in to local support groups, are you getting help from your sons's school or local CAMHS, if so why not suggest a weekend trip for a group of parents?
Ignorance of people astounds me. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones who knows what the future holds for them in the future.
My son faced a lot of prejudice at his previous school and was being excluded from age 4 to the point I removed him from school for 7mths and home schooled him. Back then I said i thought he was Asd and specifically Aspergers they shot me down teachers were awful he is now 10, guess what he is on the spectrum.
Of course your boy isn't naughty it is easier to accept or understand a wheelchair, hearing aid broken arm etc, but a child in a full scale meltdown must be a demon child or a spoilt brat. They don't see the clothes irritating them or the smell or noises becoming unbearable for them and the fact they may not be able to communicate what is wrong.
We have always just gone to smaller sites, I prefer them myself our kids can happily go exploring climb trees etc and just relax.
My friend's always used to apolgise for her son, (his asd is more severe) I told her not to I never felt she had to with me as he wasn't being rude or naughty etc he just didn't feel comfortable with certain situations.
It may not be applicable bit I like how the cartoon character Arthur explains Aspergers in a video on youtube (google Aspergers video). He describes it as landing on an alien planet where people speak the same but things are different some talk loudly etc.
We're an understanding family and love camping.
------------- Watermouth Cove - Easter
Carsington Water - May
Sandringham - June
Dockray Meadow -August
Coniston Park - August
Just like to add, that parents that have Children with this "hidden" range of difficulties will easily pick up on others, therefore will support.
Those adults that are not close to these children in general will fall into two categories.
1) symapthethic and understanding if problem explained
2) Don't believe in such "labels"
IMO Camping is brilliant for these needs, but personally wouldn't use a busy big site as would likely cause "overload" But at the right site all will be calm
I have a nine year old with ADHD (amongst other things) and find that camping suits him perfectly. We also choose quite small, basic sites (often having them to ourselves) which gives him a bit of freedom to let off steam, which he appears to need to do.
He also loves attending and camping with Cubs and is part of a great group who seem to understand him (and really like him which is the best thing ever as a parent!).
I also work which children with behaviour issues so have some great strategies to use when we are out and about.
Denny98 is right; people either understand and are sympathetic or think that it's an excuse for a badly behaved, naughty child (and I've even had the second response from my son's first school - needless to say we moved him).
Enjoy camping, I'm sure your boy will have the best time ever and you will be able to relax and enjoy family life away from the usual stresses.
Hi Paul, I saw your post and just had to delurk, register and post. We are just back from our first ever camping trip with our 4 yr old who we suspect has PDA / adhd.
I have to say he loved camping. There were no arguments about bedtime as we wore him out with the beach, swimming, exploring and playing with the other kids to the point that he asked to go to bed when it was dark!
As it was our first trip we went to a big resort with kids entertainment in the evening as his older sibling loves these sites. This was both a blessing and a pain in the behind as my son coped at times but at others his behaviour reverted to type and then the raised eyebrows and looks from other parents started. To be honest I didn't feel like spending the whole trip explaining to people and just brushed it off and spent a lot of time shadowing my son and removing him when I could see the situation escalating.
For this reason we are looking for a quieter site for our next trip. I also think having a complete break from all things electrical did us all the world of good!
Good luck and get camping, ignore those that are quick to judge as they will never understand fully what is going on. I also remind myself that while all they see is a naughty little boy, I also get the pleasure of a delightful insightful gorgeous little boy who sees the world from a different perspective and can teach me a thing or two!
Hi
All thanks for all your replies, we are involved with camhs.
Dan is also on his second school and the staff and head are fantastic it makes such a difference to our family, his first school gave up on him we would always get a a call before 9.15 to collect him as he had been naughty !!.
Dan also asked to go to cubs and they are so caring and understanding he has been on 2 camps and has stayed the course he loves it ans has been 9months since he started.
We have just located a local group here in Helsby and have made contact so hopefully we can share our experiences and gain more understanding.
It took us a long time to figure out we had to do what was right for Dan and stop putting him into situations he could not handle the large groups of children playing they would know what buttons to push anyway we let Dan dictate when he want to go out to play and we just monitor from a distance.
We just keep learning everyday.
Thank you all.
Paul