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And don't even think of holidaying in the UK, as after 12 hours stuck in traffic your pitch will be too small, with too many dogs/kids/neighbours and a thumping disco next door or absolute silence.

And when you do get settled the wind/rain/drought/flooding will make your holiday impossible so you go home to find you've ben burgled/compulsory purchased/been made the subject of a preservation order.

So forget about holidays and enjoying life. It just ain't like that

It's always advisable to be cautious when travelling in Spain, whether with a caravan or not. There are any number of alarmist horror stories, and I have no intention of putting anyone off (I'm going back to Andalucia in April and will drive all the way), but there are a couple of things to remember. In my opinion, Barcelona and the Basque country are the areas where you are most likely to get robbed, but much of Spain is extremely poor and they see foreign tourists as easy pickings.

1. Avoid carrying any quantity of cash. It's easy enough to get from cashpoints anyway.

2. Be alert in any crowded area, I find that keeping your wallet in a shirt pocket is better than back pockets.

3. Ladies should keep a firm grip on their handbags in public areas.

4. Be especially wary of anyone who is offering unsolicited 'help'. If you haven't asked for it, just walk away.

5. If you can, avoid driving at night.

6. If the worst does happen, do not expect any help from the Spanish Police. There are less criminals in Broadmoor! If you report a theft, they will behave like you are lying and then find something on your vehicle to 'fine' you for. My in laws have a house in Southern Spain and have actually been robbed by a policeman who pulled them over to 'check' their car.

Much of the same advice applies to Southern Italy, and indeed anywhere where the people are poor enough to look at crime as a career. MOST IMPORTANTLY, DON'T LET IT PUT YOU OFF. Areas of Southern Europe are absolutely beautiful, wonderful places to travel and most people holiday without any incident whatsoever!! If you take sensible precautions, and stay alert, chances are you will be fine too. To put it all in perspective, with the exception of the point about the police, I would advise visitors to London to be equally vigilant.